5 Laws for Working With People Part 2
by Charles Carpenter
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Five Laws for Working With People Part two of two
All People Commit More Readily to Their Own Ideas™ It is empowering to recognize peoples need for recognition. It is when I begin recognizing people that I can clearly identify their strengths and their weaknesses. As I recognize an individuals strength I can begin delegating and managing with greater insight and human value that cultivates trust. As the individual learns to trust me I can coach, counsel and mentor them to strengthen areas of weakness. This kind of recognition and passionate leadership creates a dynamic environment where creativity becomes our competitive edge in the market place.

When people feel that their ideas are not heard or implemented then they assume that they are note recognized, cared for or important leading to a strong sense of isolation. This isolation nearly always translates into negativity, lowered morale and high employee turnover which means lost profits.

Practical Applications While we can not always turn to the employee to solve problems or plan future growth and performance we can do more to involve them any time it is possible. People don´t expect to be heard all of the time but they must feel that they are heard.

Communicate openly and ask lots of questions of your people any time there are major changes, especially if the changes affect them directly. When you have a problem to solve take it to the team any time policies, time and ethics will allow it. No one knows like those who do the work how performance can be improved, so when it is time to raise the bar ask for employee input. Ask employees for input when redefining mission and goal statements. Failure to encourage input is the number one reason why employees don´t commit to mission and goal statements making them fruitless.

To create an environment where people openly share ideas you must follow a few leadership rules. The first, being the rule of impartiality. Don´t play favorites and if anyone is to be heard, make everyone heard as much as possible. The second rule is simply good work ethics, give credit where it is due. There is nothing more devastating to creativity than for leadership to unduly take credit for great ideas. Last but not least, implement ideas promptly and when you can´t, offer an explanation.

Get in the habit of asking questions. Asking a question effectively is a learned skill and the more you practice the better you will become. If you aren´t asking, you probably won´t get much information. Try scripting. There are three easy steps to scripting: 1. Put a question in writing. 2. Think about how the other party will answer. 3. Rewrite the question in a way that may get a different response.

You should be using some of the following questions often: • How do you feel about…? • How would you suggest…? • Which approach would you choose? • Could I do this differently? • Do you know of an easier way?

When People Make Massive Change in a Short Amount of Time They Tend to Revert Back to Old Habits Quickly™ You have likely heard it said that, “people don´t like change.” This is in part very true, but what people like less than change is uncertainty. In fact, studies show that people actually favor change when they are well informed, they have time to adjust and they have some control or a part in the planning process.

Change is an inevitable part of our world. Nothing stays the same for long. To resist change is career suicide. To carelessly embrace every new idea is personal sabotage. There must be some happy medium. I have found that for myself and countless others I have coached and counseled through change that it is the small changes we embrace consistently that seem to make the greatest impact. Small changes made over time will make a huge difference. I have made my greatest achievements by implementing this small change concept.

Practical Applications

I have seen employees boost performance just after a sharp reprimand from their supervisor. These reprimands are often short, to the point, demanding and threatening. The reprimanded employee immediately starts making massive improvements that seem impressive for two, three or maybe even four weeks, and then with the grind of routine, stress and responsibility he or she will revert back to old work habits. Lasting change is best made in small steps.

When you find it is necessary to reprimand an employee, try to identify the root of the poor performance or unacceptable behavior. Avoid generalities and always communicate positively with a solution mentality that challenges the poor performer to identify one small change that can be implemented immediately. Clearly identify a plan of action and remind the employee that you are there to support them as they make the change. Follow-up with the employee to reinforce improvements you have observed.

“What small changes can you make to perform just a little bit better today than you did yesterday?” This question should be at the heart of performance improvement. It may sound like this: “Candice I wanted to comment that the changes you´ve made recently have really made a positive impact on your upcoming evaluation. With just a little more effort I think you can be one of our top performers. Can you think of any other time wasters that we can eliminate in your work habits?”

Following are some small change tips that will help:

• Keep employees informed of changes and take small steps to prepare. • If changes are not producing the results you want then take action promptly. • If changes are producing the results you want then praise and affirm the employee. • Make small change a way of life in your environment. • Have brainstorming sessions to identify needed changes. • Teach, mentor and communicate the importance of the “small change” concept.

Perception is Reality™ It is a fact that what I believe to be a fact, is in fact a fact to me. When we underestimate the power of personal perception we are certain to experience communication and relational breakdown. My perceptions of you, my job, myself and my surroundings are built upon a foundation of personal experiences including pain and pleasure. What I have experienced in the past influences what I believe about what I experience today. We all see and perceive the world around us through personal information filters called paradigms and for many of us a paradigm shift is in order. This information filter can beautify the world around us or make it really ugly. A young man that had been sexually violated by a female when he was a boy found it impossible to trust the opposite sex, he felt that they were all out to control and manipulate him. Nothing could have been farther from reality but as a counselor I had to take his perceptions seriously and walk him through small changes to change his paradigms about women.

Consider these paradigm concerns: • About men • Abut women • About other races • About authority figures • About crowded places • About change

Practical Applications When you overlook people´s personal perceptions they may feel that you don´t take them seriously or that you don´t listen. You are also at risk when you take what others say at face value without considering how their personal perceptions may have impacted what they are sharing with you.

A person´s daily communication will tell you a lot about their personal perceptions if you are listening. Here are a few cues to consider.

• Negative statements about the opposite sex in general • Negative statements about authority figures • Humor at the expense of others • Unusual behavior in certain circumstances • Inability to reason or rationalize a situation

Kevin has told you that Mike is being belligerent, self-centered, controlling and doesn´t listen to the ideas of others. You know that this is unlike Mike and that you are hearing just the opposite from others. You may respond like this: “Kevin I understand you are frustrated with Mike and I want to help you resolve this. Since this is the first time I´ve heard anything like this about Mike I would like for you to give me some more details and explain why you feel this way.” Following are a few suggestions for dealing with other´s perceptions.

• Take the persons perceptions and feelings seriously. • Repeat back to them what you think they have just told you. • Avoid agreeing or sounding agreeable unless you do and should agree at this time. • Give the person an opportunity to talk, don´t monopolize the conversation. • Be honest but diplomatic. • Don´t play therapist. • Don´t pretend to have all the answers or feel pressured to answer immediately.

I share the five laws in many of my leadership and communication seminars as well as diversity training. What many tell me is that simply becoming aware of these basic laws and considering the impact they have on relationships has been a great benefit to them. My challenge to you is that you attempt to apply these five laws to all of your relationship building skills.

Charles Carpenter is a nationally recognized leadership expert. He received leadership and communication training from the prestigious Rockhurst University. In recent years he has trained and coached executives from numerous Fortune 500 companies and shared his leadership insight with thousands through public seminars, conferences and keynotes and is the president of Success Solutions Group. Charles may be reached at 1.937.935.6789

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Written by: Charles Carpenter
The author may be contacted at http://www.successsolutionsgroup.com charles@successsolutionsgroup.com.
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